speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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