I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
