and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
