I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
ugly people sure do ruin things
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So many bounce houses so little time
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize