I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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