What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
