We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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