Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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