Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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