So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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