Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
