I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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