OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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