cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
