it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
