My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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