Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
