the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
