it was like his penis was on wheels.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
