i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
