i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
