So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
