So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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