hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
