Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
