Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
the raccoons are back...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
