you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
