why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
