Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
do herpes really smell.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
