I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
