I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
