Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
