You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
