Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
