nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
3 2 1 whiskey
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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