Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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