her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
