Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
