never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
