You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
