Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
