dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
What a dumb baby whore.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
