i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
