12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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