just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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