Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
