Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
