Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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