so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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