He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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